Healing Together After Trauma and Betrayal

Whatever the traumatic experience that has brought you here, I want to reassure you that it’s not too big to handle. Though your pain is unique to you, you are not alone; many couples experience painful events that shake their relationships to the core. Reaching out for help is brave, and I’m here to walk with you.

Couples therapy can be scary, especially if there’s been an affair, a history of trauma, or ongoing anxiety around trusting others. You may worry about being blamed, put on the spot, or even told the relationship can’t be saved. But trauma-informed couples therapy isn’t about judgment. It’s about healing together and building a relationship that feels safe, supportive, and connected.

My approach is grounded in the Gottman Method, a research-based therapy model that helps couples heal from PTSD, infidelity, and deep emotional wounds while rebuilding trust, intimacy, and a stronger friendship (Gottman & Gottman, n.d.). Whether the trauma happened within your relationship or to one of you individually, its impact can affect both of you.

Couples therapy should help you feel more connected, better able to cope with trauma, and more hopeful about your future together. And while the work can be challenging, many couples find moments of insight, relief, even joy in the process.

What Can Trauma-Informed Couples Therapy Help With?

Trauma can come in many forms—from sudden betrayals to the slow wear of chronic stress or overwhelming life changes:

• Military or first responder trauma

• Childhood abuse or neglect

• Grief and loss

• Medical trauma or chronic illness

• Infidelity and emotional affairs

• Conflicts with extended family

• Major life transitions (e.g., the birth of a child, loss of a loved one, moving, job changes, newly empty nest)

• Substance abuse or porn addiction

• Betrayals of trust, big or small

Relationship challenges commonly linked to trauma:

• Emotional disconnection, loneliness, or isolation

• Loss of trust and commitment

• Repeating the same unresolved fights

• One partner shutting down while the other pursues

• Lack of emotional or sexual intimacy

• Missing your previous connection and close friendship

• Feeling misunderstood, unloved, or unimportant

Couples Who Work Through Trauma Together Often Experience:

• Fewer blow-up fights or emotional shutdowns

• Greater teamwork and problem-solving

• Reduced resentment and emotional distance

• Feeling understood and validated after betrayal or trauma

• A deeper sense of emotional and physical safety

• Greater trust and vulnerability

• Renewed intimacy and sex

• Shared values, routines, and future goals

Here’s What the Process Typically Looks Like:

1. Initial Session (Together)
We meet virtually or in person to talk about what brings you in. If we meet online, I’ll ask you to be in the same room for this first conversation.

2. Online Assessment
You’ll each complete a research-based questionnaire to identify strengths and challenges. This helps us create a personalized plan for healing.

3. Individual Sessions
I’ll meet with each of you one-on-one to hear your unique story, needs, and goals for therapy.

4. Feedback and Planning Session (Together)
We review the assessment and talk through a roadmap for helping you feel safer, stronger, and more connected.

5. Ongoing Sessions
We’ll work together to help you learn tools to improve communication, build emotional safety, and reestablish intimacy.

Take the Next Step Toward Healing and Connection

If you're ready to repair your relationship, build intimacy, and create a lasting bond, I’m here to guide you. Together, we’ll develop the tools you need to heal from the past, resolve conflict, and build a secure, loving connection.